| if anyone still reads this. |
[Jul. 31st, 2008|04:21 pm] |
im redirecting you to my new journal.
ericadeniselove
ADD IT, I promise youll enjoy it. i dont care who you are. |
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| bdm_nocturnal boy |
[Jan. 19th, 2008|12:10 pm] |
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As if I dont have enough on my plate, you have to add on with your ridiculous conclusions that are completely irrelevant. But it's cool, don't worry I have this down, I can handle it. So the boy ran away after I shot the "what if" question. Completely typical, and I cried for the first time, for real, that day. I finally came to the conclusion, that I really don't need you apart of my life. I'll make it so easy for you to walk right in and out of my life. The only part where I lost was the part were you totally kept my pipe and earrings and the fact that some immature bimbo (guy or girl) is fucking snotty and texted my sister what was going on (supposidly) & now they're all on my grill. Talk about awesome. Thank god im careless. You were a mistake that I learned from, yeah that means im human and I fucked up. :) cool right? I wont say that i regret you because everyone makes wrong decisions , because they were right at the time. It happens, shit happens, life is a bitch, deal. Seriously, Im not going to beg you, because you're nothing special, sweetheart. ;) If anything you've left me with the impression that all you are is a pussy for running away, But shit catches up to you asshole, You can't run forever. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 2nd, 2007|12:03 am] |
i need the strength to let you go.
how can you blame me for your mistakes?
I own up to my own. |
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| dsfasd |
[Oct. 3rd, 2007|10:08 pm] |
Suckiest Birthday Ever?
no. But its DEFINATELY up there in those ranks.
ugh i hate being a bitch but you all DONT know me anymore or what I like
AND im sorry.
But its nothing for you to get PISSED about srsly.
ew.
♥
I hope the rest of the year isnt like this. |
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| TO YOU |
[Sep. 23rd, 2007|12:32 pm] |
jksdfhasjdgasdfksadfjuwgvnadjsnu!
you dont like to be accused and neither do I.
PLEASE STOP. JUST STOP.
i didnt do anything.
i dont deserve this.
I know ive given you reason not to trust me..
but no one deserves to live like this.
and be accused everytime they go out.
Doesnt that sound familiar to you?
out of anyone.
i THOUGHT you would know what that feels like.
You think accusing people ever made anything better?
Tell me honestly where did that ever get you?
I know for a fact it got your son, my brother in jail.
Because who would want to be in a shithole
where everyone accuses everyone of something,
there's no trust which in otherwords means there's no
relationships of any kind in this house.
Maybe leaving for just a while means being able to escape that
THATS WHY.
and instead of trying to make things better.
build relationships.
youre to busy being PESSIMISTIC and accusing
thinking of what to accuse me of next .
Nobodys perfect, we're human we fuck up.
EVEN YOU.
The main reason that people do get into drugs and things like alcohol and sex and nonsense
is because they want to escape from something.
They want to feel loved or happy even if it means for just awhile.
Im not saying its the right thing to do.'
YES. it is stupid. and it is human
but think about it.
Do you think what YOU'RE doing is making those situations any better?
Do you think fighting accusing and EVERYTHING going on in this house
is fixing ANY of these problems
IF NOT making them worse.
You're going about this all wrong.
You pushed him away, & now you're pushing me away.
It's time to take off the blindfolds.
and be blunt.
Maybe for once try to see the other side of things.
instead of dwelling on the problem fix it.
dont make it worse.
im fixing it. But youre just making it THAT MUCH HARDER.
everytime YOU accuse me of something that I COULD HAVE done but more importantly DIDNT.
try to understand that. |
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| LMAO. |
[Sep. 17th, 2007|11:49 pm] |
I LAUGH!
im having so much fun with this. |
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| i dont care. |
[Sep. 5th, 2007|08:30 pm] |
she said," Lets keep out conversations to a minimal."
I said, ive heard that one before.
and this time.
Im okay with it. |
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| Please. |
[Sep. 5th, 2007|04:48 pm] |
You dont understand.
and im tired of hearing about it.
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.
-M. Ghandi. |
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| CHILL THE FUCK OUT! |
[Sep. 4th, 2007|11:05 pm] |
IM GOING TO SMOKE EVERY FUCKING DAY UNTIL MY LUNGS TURN BLACK SO FUCK YOU.
IT DOESNT MATTER ANYWAY HUH?
YOU NEVER FUCKING BELIEVE ME SO
FUCKYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU BLOW EVERYTHING OUT OF PROPORTION!
CHILL THE FUCK OUT.
i hate you.
(.youre fucking stupid.) |
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| First day of Senior Year. |
[Aug. 27th, 2007|08:08 pm] |
I always do a post for the first day of school, it's almost as if it's expected already.
So Im here listening to Bright Eyes cause the time just feels so perfect.
The sun is setting, and the sky is orange, pink , and blue.
and I feel like opening the blinds and watching out for awhile.
It was a good day, I hope all the rest are the same!
Except for it being so hot, and my classes being so far.
and not having cool clothes.
or a backpack.
yet.
I want to shop more.
and then there's the things I dont want but I need..
like the binders, and the tabs and your usual.
It sort of fustrates me a bit.
I had to take hello kitty to school today.
Here is a set of things I need & want.
WANT:
A sleevless hoodie tunic.
Zera Shoes.
Flat boots.
Sheer Leggings.
The cardigan jacket thing from Macys.
A beret ( a pretty one though ).
A Jansport backpack.
The leopard heart necklace.
The black bow dress from The limited.
I also want:
to go to Old Navy
Target, again.
Marshalls, cause Alyssa's shirt said it wants me.
and those places at the mall.
it would totally make my life.
now the things I NEED:
everything above.:)
4binders
4notebooks
Tabs.
Pencils&Paper.
a pretty backpack.
oh yeah and to add to the WANT list. (irrelavant to school)
An Ipod/mp3 player .
A Digital Camera ( a cool one )
But I can wait until October for that. ;) *birthday*
*sigh*
So yeah. Is it too much? Ah well.. I also want/need a Job. Put that on the list. please.
This semester seems fair, My classes feel good.
I have high hopes goals.. and I really am just praying I pass all of my taks so I could graduate with a diploma.
Being a senior feels sort of weird.
Like unreal, like rey said.
Everyone didnt feel real.
Everyone drives now.
We're all like little people. Like, living in a little real world, do you get me?
I hate this A and B day shizz. It screwed up my Senior year.
I REALLY want to take my senior pictures now.
and I dont digg my poofy hair.
I wish my mom was a little more motivating.
She's been all mean lately and I tell her and she just says.
"its the drugs" referring to me smoking pot (she doesnt do drugs)
but she found out I did I guess.
whatever.
I want to be stoked about school again.
but it's kind of going away already.
ugh school. |
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| getting close |
[Aug. 25th, 2007|03:27 am] |
Trying to figure me out.
But they dont, they just assume.
So stubborn, so Selfish.
Theyve got me all wrong, baby.
It's always the same thing.
You dont know me, and if you get any closer I swear to god you never will.
That's the way the cookie crumbles.
Leaves you with bits and pieces of something
that'll never be. |
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| jhdfskjhhsdfj |
[Aug. 9th, 2007|08:37 pm] |
IM SO PISSED!
They called me from the theater for an interview today.
and my mom was on the fucking phone.
so I missed it.. I called back..
and they told me they would call me back.
but they havent.
it was at 1pm today.
IVE BEEN A FUCKING DUMBASS WAITING ALL FUCKING DAY.
but i know theyre not going to call back.
fuckingshit.
i need a job like now.
they called jessika too.
shes going on tuesday.
im so frustrated.
FUCK
I need to calm the fuck down.im gonna go smoke outside.
laydas! |
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| school |
[Jul. 25th, 2007|11:27 pm] |
so im going back to nixon. its a done deal! and .. im going to have to isolate myself and get on the ball.
I need 8credits to graduate after taking like a semester off haha.
which i think is illegal..but yeah.
Im such an undecisive girl.
I want this.
to be class of 2008 and graduate with my friends.
& it WILL happen.
im going to be the biggest nerd ever for about 9 months :)
and im going to finally make my mom proud of me for SOMETHING.
and it's going to be cool, i cant wait.
shit i can do this.
they said its possible.
and the only reason theyre taking me back in is because im a GT student.
and im smart.
but i still think the whole idea of TAKS is fucked up.
I mean SRSLY.
it's fucken stupid that ONLY texas kids have to pass that shit
i mean i guess its easy, but still.
like its not fair in other states its like yeah you take it but whatever.
anyways. enuff. im out.
my ex's cousin keeps calling me.
please stop :(
okbye. |
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| :( |
[Jul. 24th, 2007|01:38 pm] |
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EW! |
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| :( |
[Jul. 22nd, 2007|02:52 pm] |
im not happy at all.
this is making everything worse..and all i can think is, how did i let it get this bad? :(
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| prioritiess |
[Jul. 1st, 2007|10:39 pm] |
I need A
then life will be grand. until then, UGH. |
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| ok |
[Jul. 1st, 2007|08:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  whatever | ] |
Okay heres the deal its july. nothing too great has happened yet.
I want to go to warped tour, my mom got pissed.. i havent even askd her if i could go with aj to san antonio for the meeting tomorrow yet or leave on the 10th with claire for a week on vacation.. she will most likely say no. Its bugging the fuck out of me that she never lets me do anything. wtf like im not even doing anything wrong.. its been FOREVER!~ fuck this shit for real. and i want ice cream right now. :( i also want to go to target and like .. i want it to be thursday already for FIRE and then on saturday we're doing a carwash to raise money to rent a car for warped PLEASE GO! itll mean forever and a day, oh yeah. i saw my faggot ex yesturday he pisses me off more than ever now.. him and hhis fucking retarded face.. louie said he was making me a face, whatever.. Hes such a fucking pusssssssssssssssssssy! I hope he chokes. ugh.. so pissed. yeah so Ice cream dude wtf.. |
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| beat. |
[Jun. 29th, 2007|11:51 pm] |
Im such a narcissist. I know if I left Laredo, I would miss it wherever i was, and when I'd come back.. I'd wish I didnt and miss the place before. That's the thing with me. I'm never at an Okay with myself, and when I was.. It fell apart, quickly. My days have been good, summer is not horrible, it just hasnt lived up to last summer yet. But everything happens in July anyway so Who am I to rush things. Being in July is going to be torturing, the summer sky.. the view.. it's going to haunt me. It already is, I hate the summer sky and all the secrets it holds. I just wish it were back to last year that way I could fix this whole junk of a mess...mixx. Im beat! It's been a long two days staying awake, because it makes it feel more like june. I dont know, I should probably be in my room picking out an outfit and getting ready to crash, but im not. I feel like I need to do something before, although I know.. I dont. There's nothing to look foward too yet. Besides warped tour . I dont know, Im just wishing on stars .. something exciting needs to happen to make this vacation memorable..
No one really reads this. |
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| FUCK EVERYONE |
[Jun. 25th, 2007|11:42 pm] |
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FUCK EVERYONE FOR BEING PISSED OFF AND BITCHY AND FUCKING SELFISH. |
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